I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
