Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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