You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
now i know why i became what i already was.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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