for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
