brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize