Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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