I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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