She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
