I want to walk on stilts...naked
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
There was a lot of him and a little penis
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
