Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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