dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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