so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
