True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Randomize