I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
