guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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