Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
