in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
