Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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