im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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