her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
