kristin has been a bad kristin
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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