did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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