Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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