I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
