guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
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