You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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