sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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