I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
