He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
