you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
