Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
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