Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
