There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Randomize
