i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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