it was like his penis was on wheels.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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