Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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