If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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