that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Enjoy the penises
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
