I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
stop calling my apartment porn island.
operation have a gay friend backfired
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Randomize
