tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
