Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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