Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
