The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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