Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
