In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
sex in a hospital.. check
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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