Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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