HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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