is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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