Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
