Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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