u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
