3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize