Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
