Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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