dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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