More tranny stories later!
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
You're like the curious george of whores
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Randomize
