i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
