help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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