xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had me at cake vodka
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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